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1.2 Love and Obey
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I am a first generation Christian, so as I was growing in my walk, not being mentored by godly parents, I walked in completely legalism. I was not aware of there being legalism and at that time, not understanding what a Pharisee was either. So I lived with a Rules of God mentality, and felt I always had to earn His approval, or He would angry at me.
It was beautiful when I began developing a relationship with God, and when blowing it, knowing He still loved me.
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I totally agree with you. At first I thought I had to earn the love of God.
I was told to read the whole BIBLE from cover to cover (which I have not done yet).
I then began to believe that God was not happy with my poor performance.
I then learned that God does not judge us for not reading all of his word.
God loves us no matter what. The question is: do we love him?
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Amen Darlene. It is beautiful when people realize the unconditional love of God.
I have been studying the parables lately, and have been struck by how the Father in the Prodigal Son story cares about both sons, not just the younger brother who leaves home. In a sense, the older brother is just as lost as the younger brother because he doesn’t believe the father loves him and thinks he needs to work for the Father’s attention. It reminds me of this quote: “The fatted calf, the best Scotch, the hoedown could all have been his too, any time he asked for them except that he never thought to ask for them because he was too busy trying cheerlessly and religiously to earn them." Frederick Buechner
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When my children were young, I heard this teaching on how to discipline children. That they need to sit there until they ask forgiveness or forgave the one who offended them. I put this boundary around my children to the point that I was using the Word to emotionally beat them. Years later, I had to undo this boundary with each one of them. It caused us years of distrust between them and me as they then never wanted me to know if they were upset with a sibling or someone at school
Literally, the freedom I wanted my children to have, became a source of bondage.
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Maureen, your statement about how “the freedom you wanted for your children became bondage” is very insightful. As people desiring holiness, it can be so easy to overuse the law of the Pharisees. By contrast, when we live by the Spirit, the law we must follow is to love God and love others. Although this is less complicated, the law of love requires so much more of us.
With my children, when it comes to offence and forgiveness, I have had to learn that what each one needs is different. Loving them well requires that I respond to each situation a little differently — learning to listen to the Spirit in each moment so that I can love my kids according to what they uniquely need.
It sounds like you have learned much about the “Law of love” as you have worked through reconciling with your children. Thanks for sharing. Your vulnerability is appreciated.
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Perhaps the most dangerous tendencies toward legalism come when we start applying the particular boundaries we’ve drawn to keep ourselves from sin to others who may not struggle with that sin. I can remember a dear woman in our church who was thankful that she and others hadn’t gone to a local bar when they were younger. “Where would our testimony go?” she said. Her idea was that, if they had walked into the bar they would no longer have a ‘flawless’ testimony of righteousness as believers. I remember thinking that perhaps her ‘testimony’ (i.e. her witness about what Jesus has done in her life) could have been put to good use among the people who frequented the bar–many of them were ones who needed to hear the story of God’s grace. In a sense, her legalism about what was appropriate or not was actually keeping her from engaging with those that needed Christ.
The Bible is pretty clear about avoiding drunkenness. However, the Bible is also equally clear that Jesus was accused of being a glutton and drunkard (Matthew 11:19). In a sense, Jesus’ table hospitality was one of the things that the Pharisees found most obtrusive. Yet, this reveals something crucial about the heart of God to us: he is willing to eat with us, even when we are at our worst. The Pharisees didn’t get it, but those who experienced Jesus’ amazing forgiveness and community around the table discovered salvation and life in him.
It’s a slippery thing when our notions of holiness keep up from missional engagement.
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